Dan,
Your language is instinct digesting into looming systems
Boy disintegrating
The vein ways the rhythm waits in pumping expanding pistons
And all through my movement, what we were is watched, celebrated
Rewound and watched for the triumphant dead light
Played out in motion
The dim flickering of spirit
In blackness the kernel
The seed breaking open
And in this flux of life
It feels false
To look always towards that conception
It feels beyond reason in-between places
Beyond to be with you
But really beyond to be with none
And so with a sigh it seems
The only thing left
Is letting you go
That is my reluctant map
That is my half hearted hope
And until I can be fully that process
I am eternally recessed in this mirth
This lightless loveless blossomless romance
And I can’t blame
Or convict or cry out your sins
Your blind brilliant life is too evident
You are just who I choose to bore
Into this rainy Saturday
I am to deaden you
I hear the rush
The intenseness of expansion
The murmurs from out of silence
Piercing a membrane of past
Many souls gasping out
To be heard they’ve been bent
And I am beginning to hear
In their life
Their will
In my life my will
So once and for all, I will say with a sigh
We are not the universe, the blindness I once sought
And we are not the pain leaving as the pain is here now
We are just distant friends mutating to life
O god were just friends
But if that implies any
Warmth for this moment
Were not even that
Were nothing
