Oh Life and Memory Tainting.
January 9, 2010

Oh life!

Memory is such sweet masturbation

And then Hiroshima of reality

Apocalypse of maturation!

I’m holding myself in disbelief.

How could you will this monstrosity of age?

Lo I shout to all those souls lost (including partly my own) in the infinite tombs of man! There is a wind of senses, a potential symphony of mutuality

And in my own grave, I find reminder

The dashboard of my e-320 still humming

Utopia yellow backlit

Lagging monotones and tar smeared toes curling

Like saccharine fruits of ignorance

Sympathetic illusions of eternity

Oceans of bare skin in spring seasons, a cacophony of clanking car doors

Through our lurid windshield the same manses blurred in summering mist

Endless white winters heaping us in

People always detracting, looming

Creeping and calling us home.

We running from peoples eyes

Hiding in groves and tasting the air

Torn from dream states

By the observations of reality

To think other humans were then so unthinkable an intrusion!

Undoing the static love of Hendrix

Sucking the smoke of contentedness into zero

Weeks and weeks of scattering legs

Beating down pitch roads

Beside me pulsing  of fresh laundry and sweat

Asking simple curious questions

I would  answer again

With such bursting energy


Parting With You
January 4, 2010


Your language is instinct digesting into looming systems

Boy disintegrating

The vein ways the rhythm waits in pumping expanding pistons

And all through my movement, what we were is watched, celebrated

Rewound and watched for the triumphant dead light

Played out in motion

The dim flickering of spirit

In blackness the kernel

The seed breaking open

And in this flux of life

It feels false

To look always towards that conception

It feels beyond reason in-between places

Beyond to be with you

But really beyond to be with none

And so with a sigh it seems

The only thing left

Is letting you go

That is my reluctant map

That is my half hearted hope

And until I can be fully that process

I am eternally recessed in this mirth

This lightless loveless blossomless romance

And I can’t blame

Or convict or cry out your sins

Your blind brilliant life is too evident

You are just who I choose to bore

Into this rainy Saturday

I am to deaden you

I hear the rush

The intenseness of expansion

The murmurs from out of silence

Piercing a membrane of past

Many souls gasping out

To be heard they’ve been bent

And I am beginning to hear

In their life

Their will

In my life my will

So once and for all, I will say with a sigh

We are not the universe, the blindness I once sought

And we are not the pain leaving as the pain is here now

We are just distant friends mutating to life

O god were just friends

But if that implies any

Warmth for this moment

Were not even that

Were nothing