Parting With You
January 4, 2010

Dan,

Your language is instinct digesting into looming systems

Boy disintegrating

The vein ways the rhythm waits in pumping expanding pistons

And all through my movement, what we were is watched, celebrated

Rewound and watched for the triumphant dead light

Played out in motion

The dim flickering of spirit

In blackness the kernel

The seed breaking open

And in this flux of life

It feels false

To look always towards that conception

It feels beyond reason in-between places

Beyond to be with you

But really beyond to be with none

And so with a sigh it seems

The only thing left

Is letting you go

That is my reluctant map

That is my half hearted hope

And until I can be fully that process

I am eternally recessed in this mirth

This lightless loveless blossomless romance

And I can’t blame

Or convict or cry out your sins

Your blind brilliant life is too evident

You are just who I choose to bore

Into this rainy Saturday

I am to deaden you

I hear the rush

The intenseness of expansion

The murmurs from out of silence

Piercing a membrane of past

Many souls gasping out

To be heard they’ve been bent

And I am beginning to hear

In their life

Their will

In my life my will

So once and for all, I will say with a sigh

We are not the universe, the blindness I once sought

And we are not the pain leaving as the pain is here now

We are just distant friends mutating to life

O god were just friends

But if that implies any

Warmth for this moment

Were not even that

Were nothing

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